http://www.mycen.com.my/rescue/updates.htmlKuning is back at the fishfarm! I feel ashamed of myself not being at the island with the small group of volunteers, struggling to help the doggies. Everyday before i go to sleep, i blame myself for not doing anything. i felt stupid, not knowing how to dive.. i wish i were more brave.. with more guts... then another voice in my head, says to me 'instead of lamenting, y dont u do s'thing about it?!' then.. my mind just stops there.... having no decision.. no further 'discussion' between the voices.. after a while, i'll just comfort myself.. i'll donate when my pay comes... which is NOT good enuff. its amazing, the love in people for dogs is so limited here... when i was reading one of the female dog rescuer's blog, (my apology that i dont remember which heroine..) about her meeting this lady at pulau ketam, telling the that ''i heard that the dogs are eating each other on the island-pulau selat kering''.. i felt how the author was feeling.. it is just so pathetic how cold-blooded our own kind is. And then i finally read in the paper, that the media is reporting the very tough mission all FFF volunteers are going through. From TV Smith's blog, it is shocked to learn the truth that they're getting back-stabbed. blame me.. for not knowing the local society well enuff... it really got me scratching my head... who are the people that wanna back stab all the dog rescuers? i'm not being naive or living in my perfect world.. ('perfect world': sayang's words.. =p) i seriously want to know. anyone?
The inconvenient truth.. there're always bad apples? it somehow got me into thinking.. which i always have been thinking.. 'Why are there bad people?", "who am i to judge?"... then it made me realise that i've been very far far away from God's teaching.. I have not read the bible for 2 years. My mind is everywhere... i just cannot accept the evil side of human... especially when i know that its happening in my country... and surprisingly, the government just decided to be 'out of sight, out of mind'. I'm very sad. and lost. where is our values?
I've always have this emo moments now n then. when i can't handle all the bad things which are happening all around the world... all the disasters .... all the sickening incidents....
i know.. i need guidance.8681.jpg)
i'm trying my best not to think. but just recall and sink into the nice and sweet weekend that i just had wt sayang.
missing mommy n daddy. Hope they're enjoying themselves on their vacation.
i'm so slack. i promised jing that i'll glue down the jigsaw puzzle that i've completed, MONTHS ago... and i did nothing.. i'll do it tmr..
Missing bee. she's comin bk soon, in 3 weeks time. its just somehow different, spending time wt bee in KL. i felt kinda weird when she came bk last august for jing's wedding. y weird? cos we're not in adelaide. we're in the land that we used to call home, but just not familiar with all the places and people, except for our family n the house we stay in. I guess its becos mom used to be very strict to us when we were at school, we dont get to go to many places, just school - home. mom n dad being very protective, we seldom go to places, even with friends. and we were being sent to aus once we finished school... i'm back in town for more than 2 years now... and yet i dont feel settled. friends told me cos my heart refuses to. i guess so.
work. i'm in the dilemma again. s'times i love my job. s'times i hate it. then i started blaming myself for actually listened to what my friends have to say. they told me, my family does not need me to take the burden. i do not need my current job.. lol. the words were nice to hear. its maybe becos, we have a few similar family background galfrends who do not earn a living. its not something bad at all. if i put it in a different way. some might look down on them, for not working, some might think they're just lucky, precious girls.
i am done bragging... my mind is all over the place tonight. weirdo. freak i am.
No comments:
Post a Comment