the last thing i want to hear.... FML

The last thing i want to hear from him is 'No more children, 1 is enough...'

Did I ask for it? For him, yes. I always ask for it... when shit happens.

I hate myself everyday for being forgetful and hypersensitive. but he'll never know. For him, i'm a demanding crazy wife.

Min called today about his PR. I was anxious I was stressed. I didnt have the right state of mind to deal with it and i got blamed, again, as usual. I kept quiet and hurt bitterly. I hate myself for being like that.

From now on, I will suppress all my feelings and stop loving. The more I care, the worse it gets. Marriage is just a piece of paper.

No more love, no more tears. Let alone being close to each other. Now we see each other everyday.. but the distance and gap between us is further and further. He doesnt even talk to me, he says he has nothing to share wt me cos his life is boring.

I regret. I regret for getting pregnant unintentionally, so careless. Hate myself, even I've been telling myself its a gift from God. I hate to admit to dajie that we don't know each other well enuff to get married, i feel it now. When Min calls, I just want to give up n tell him that maybe he should go bk to KL. I dont even want to try anymore.

Its a total change of both our lives, staying here in Adelaide, makes me think that its a foolish decision. And I already know that he wouldnt have moved here if I hadnt got pregnant. And our relationship might have called it an end. Maybe it would've been better that way. I'm not sure.

My unsettled hormone and his impatience, fear me everyday. I dont want to be pregnant anymore.. I hate this so much.

Its ruining our relationship and our marriage n its just gonna get worse when the baby arrives, I know it already.